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 Post subject: Murphy's Law (Also known as "The Rules I Live By")
PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:32 pm 
I hope you agree with these. Feel free to add to it if you have any not in the list!

-Interchangeable parts - won't
-No one dies a virgin. Life screws us all-Kurt Cobain
-If the enemy is in range, so are you. (courtesy of my Great Uncle)
-It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' (US. Air Force Manual)
-Tracers work both ways. (Also my Great Uncle)
-Any ship can be a minesweeper... once. (My teacher)
-Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. (My Uncle)
-If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him. (Again, my Uncle)
-If you try to please everyone, nobody will like you
-A shortcut is the longest distance between two points
-Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate
-In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it
-The chance of a buttered piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the price of the carpet
-If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway
-If you fool around with a thing long enough, you will screw it up
-Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center, and any nut, bolt, screw, etc will roll into the least accessable place
-The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours
-No matter how long and hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, you will find it cheaper somewhere else
-As soon as your hands are coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with
-When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will
-The other line always moves faster
-The probability of someone watching is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about
-Build a system even a fool can use, and only fools will use it
-If it seems too good to be true, it probably is
-The minute you get interested in someone is the minute they find someone else
-Everything takes longer than you think
-Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
-If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway
-Left to themselves, things will usually go from bad to worse
-If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
-Mother nature is a PIA
-It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so damn ingenious
-Every solution breeds new problems
-All warranties expire upon payment of invoice
-Everyone seems normal until you get to know them (case in point, me!)
-A bird in the hand is better than one overhead
-Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening
-Beauty is only skin deep; but ugly goes to the bone
-In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
-Never play leapfrog with a unicorn
-There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over
-A desperately needed part will either be on backorder, or they just sold the last one.
-Smile...tomorrow will be worse!

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